Liar

 

Why do i feel like I'm competing...knowing I'm gonna lose
i feel so stupid....i feel used...
i feel like I'm nothing, nothing but a spare tire...
i feel dumb cause your a f????n lier.
you told me you love me and we'll always be together
but no your stuck with her forever...
shes got your life..your son...your baby...
i thought i was girl...your Maggie..
but i guess I'm not..I'm not nothing to you...
why did you do this to me...why did you have to...
well i hope you have a good life and live it to the fullest...
i'll love you forever my sweet sweet dearest..

 

The Party

You let me go there
You said no matter what you were here
You said call if you need me
I said ok but I won't need to
You said if you're driving home
DON'T DRINK
I said ok I won't, it's gross
  

I told them no
They said one won't hurt
They said I would still be below .08
I said no way
I would hurt my mom
They said take one sip
That's not much
I thought ok, it's not alot

On my way home
I had in my car one drink
Two, or three, maybe even four
I had drank at the party too
I think I had a 12-pack there

At the intersection of 52nd and 47th
I saw the sign
I thought it said go
It was kind of fuzzy
I was going 92mph
I hit him, my crush

I am sorry mom
So you how it happened
It was my fault
I should have listened

All I remembered was it hurt
The pain was unbearable
My blood all over the street
My foot lay on the ground beside my head
Now my skull lay apart on the road
 

As my still pumps
I am turning paler by the second

They said it was hopeless
They said I was dead
You came to my funeral
Reached into my pocket
To find a paper
It said I know you'll find this mom
I know I shouldn't have drank
I know I should have called
But I didn't, I drank
And this is the happenings

I am dead so tell everyone
I loved them
Most of all I love you mom
Oh tell him I'm sorry and that I loved him
Then come and tell me what happened

I miss and love you mom
Now I know right from wrong
And good from bad
Most of of all I'm sorry

Your New Love

Only if you would like to vote and comment, it would mean a lot to me. Is it okay to feel sane when things dont always work out?

I stood outside my door to breathe into God air.
I watched each car pass me by with its fullest speed
I thought about you and where you could possibly be
Visions of you and her found their way into my mind once again
I realized that you are finally in someone else’s arms.

It pains me to see you gone, but it pains me even more
When I no longer can call you to tell you of how I have been
To cry on your shoulders and expect that you will help me to carry on
I no longer can ask you to listen to how my day went, or tell you
How crazy life has made me be...

It was always so sweet and so gentle when you would tell me
That as long as you will love me, no harm will ever reach me
And that you will protect me till the day you die.
I stand alone and all of the past feelings that I used to feel before you
Came into my life, they all crept and found their way into my soul
I stand alone as I think about your New Love

I heard you in my dreams, I saw your love with this new lady
I wonder what was it that she gave you that I couldn’t give
I want to stop these thoughts, I want to let go of all the pain,
But it’s hard when every time I close my eyes I see your hands
Caressing her soul.

I can’t shout, nor call you to tell you how badly you hurt this old
Aging heart of mine.
 

But Perhaps You can sense me when you fall asleep tonight.
If all what you have said to me has been true,
Than sensing me somehow will tell you how broken I am
I no longer can
And the thought that I no longer can is softly killing me inside

I stand today alone without you, and all I can hope and wish for
Is that you will somehow find yourself to be truer to this 

Mother to be
The mother of your child and soon to be your wife...
I wish for you the best, And I hope that you will never do to her what you did to me
I hope that you will remember all the important dates and times, I hope that you will
Never be late for a date with her, I hope that you will never forget to call her
To tell her that you are okay...
Don’t forget all of the important things the way you forgot them with me...
I know you want me to be angry with you, I know you want me to say that I hate you
But do you realize what has been softening me, what has been keeping me quiet
It has been the thoughts of your soon to be born baby.

I wish You the best my once long ago friend, lover, and that once husband to be...
I will wash away into the wind, I will hush away my saddest feelings, I will sleep
In silence and Hope for a better day....

I'll forgive you

You forgive me for liking you too much,
and I'll forgive you for not liking me enough.

you forgive me for missing you so,
and I'll forgive you for being so cold.

you forgive me for the loud racing of my heart,
and I'll forgive you for not hearing it.

you forgive me for playing your games,
and I'll forgive you for toying my emotions.

you forgive me for finding you so attractive,
and I'll forgive you for not noticing.

you forgive me for raising you up so high,
and I'll for give you for bring me down so low.

you forgive me for wanting to be with you,
and I'll forgive you for avoiding me.

you forgive me for being so pathetic,
and I'll forgive you for taking advantage of it.

you forgive me for not being to let go,
and I'll forgive you for never having latched on.

you forgive me for having hopes and dreams,
and I'll forgive you for crushing them. 

Frozen Love

I always thought we'd grow old together.
Facing each new day.
But now, in the tears that fall upon my face.
Your memory fades away.

We walked with our problems in silence.
Dawn falling into dusk.
Leafs collecting at our cold and tired feet.
Along with what grieved us.

In my bedroom, surrounded by empty walls.
I want to scream and shout.
My mouth opens, but the tortured words...
Just won't come out.

You! This man I began to love.
Got lost for a "Nothing".
Everything we'd built, destroyed.
Over one careless fling.

Used to think I was so lucky.
I had it all.
Nothing unknown is knowable, so depressed.
You just watched me fall.

My heart bleeds.
The snow becomes red.
How life has mocked you.
Were you ever here? memories gone, dead.

Your like salt on an open wound.
Reminding me you once were here.
Warm like the blood in my veins.
The love I had for you, so dear.

In my distorted, broken dreams.
So empty, yet real.
I'm floating through air.
I touch your face, hoping to feel.

This frozen silence belongs to you.
I'm all that you see.
I only want revenge.
Giving back what you gave to me.

Sorry I loved you so.
And you didn't feel the same.
When I think of what could have been.
What a waste! Such a shame!

Stone by stone, I'll re-build my life.
I'm stronger when hardest hit.
I know only to well.
This is the time I must never quit.

My conscious asks the question.
I long to hear.
Is the grass really greener on the other side?
My conscious asks the question.
I will always fear.

Goodbye Again

I’m sure will come the day
That we do say goodbye
And then we will know
You took the coward’s way

Children don’t forget
They will learn and see
Their minds will be forever corrupt
With the horrid memory

Selfish acts
Forever take hold
Leaving destruction
On young and old

 

     

Mind, soul, and body
Such a waste
A coward’s actions
Set to pace

I’m not the messenger
Only one left behind
To clean up the mess
So you’ll still shine

For it is in their eyes
That I worry
For it in their eyes
That I see
Unconditional love
That must stay with thee

Not for you
Only for them
They are the angels
I cherish to the end!

Losing My Parents

 I posted this poem in Lost Love because this is about my parents. I don't know how many people can read this and actually understand but i hope you all get a visual of what it is like. And I hope no one ever has to go through this kind of pain. **True Story**


Hearing the sound of the telephone ring
Forced me out of bed.
Listening to the voice of my brother scream
Being unprepared for what he said.

"Jeremiah there was an accident and mom and dad were killed"
Throwing the phone across the room
I fell to my knees as my heart spilled

My life wasn't always so great
But everything else became worse
I thought nothing could make me break
Now i feel as if I've been cursed

At the bitter age of thirteen years old
My parents death, began to take it's toll
On rainy days i wish it snowed
Because raindrops gave my tears control

In school i could never concentrate
Or would refuse to do the work and turn it in late
During lunch I'd give myself time to think
By taking long walks I never ate

There was never a day that would go my way
Ever since my parents were taken away
There are no words that could ever explain
What hides behind my silence and pain

Everyday is always the same
I come home and unpack my things
Then when i get ready to change
I still wait for my mom to call my name

Simple things such as that
Would make me want my mother back
Or remembering the first time i swung a bat
Making my dad proud every time we'd play catch

But every night i start to cry and realize they are gone
I play a song and pray to god there's a heaven up above
I promise to wait and never give up, i know up there i will be loved

But i hope that i don't grow to be old
Because I'm tired of being so alone.